Sunday, January 22, 2012

Braised Short Ribs and Seafood Fettuccine

Josh took me out to dinner at the Olive Garden last night. It was absolutely divine! I got to eat my food hot and didn't have to get up to get anyone water or a napkin, or anything else. In fact, the waiter asked me if there was anything he could get me! Isn't that fantastic?! I wanted to die it was so heavenly. I think that Josh knew I needed a night off. It's been a long week for me. Isn't he just the sweetest?! I am such a lucky woman.
Anyways, we had a very profound conversation over Braised Short Ribs and Seafood Fettuccine about Archer and what is to come here in the next couple months (can you believe it is getting so close?). I think it was actually one of the longest, and most in depth conversations we've had about him since, well, the very beginning. I worry a lot about Josh and how he is dealing with it. He doesn't really talk to me about it, and I think that although I talk about everything having to do with Archer a lot, I don't really talk to Josh much. How did that happen?! It's one thing that I've been trying to rectify. We need to talk. The one thing that we CANNOT fail to do is communicate, esp. about how we are feeling during this crazy time. Life just has a way of getting in the way! I don't want something like this to cause a rift in our relationship, and therefore it won't. I've made it a personal goal to start talking to Josh about the future and how he feels, whether he wasn't to talk about it or not. I know that it makes him sad to think about all the 'what ifs' but it makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one worrying and stressing.
I don't understand how we are going to handle all of the unknowns that this little man is going to bring us. There are so many things that we need to start preparing for NOW, but these are situations that might not even come to pass - feeding tubes, breathing monitors, wheelchairs and other supportive equipment, therapists, specialists... the list just goes on and on. I'm just praying that the Lord will help us with everything we need when the time comes - if and when it does.
One thing that has really being getting to me over the last several days is the fact that I have to be separated from Archer for one hour after he is born. I am having a scheduled c-section so that everyone who's anyone (hospital staff, NICU, specialists etc.) will be able to be there for the delivery. The only downfall is that I have to spend extra time getting stitched up in the OR and an hour in recovery while the baby goes to the NICU to be taken care of. I am going to miss him so much- and it already hurts to think about being away from him. I am so glad that Josh will be able to go with Archer right away, but what if that one hour is all the time we are given with him and I miss out?! Seriously, I can't even begin to explain to you how much this freaks me out. I know I'm not supposed to stress about things I can't control, but if Heavenly Father only gives us an hour - then dang nab it, I want to be there for that whole entire hour. Think they make exceptions in cases like this? Oh man, I feel like I am going to miss out on so much during that short little time. Ack! I think my blood pressure is starting to rise. {Breathe... in and out.....phew} I'm good... for now... I think...
Oh yeah... I go in on Wednesday morning for my 2 hr. glucose test. Pray that I don't have gestational diabetes! I have to go in and 8 am (have to have fasted 8hrs.) and then drink that vile syrup and wait in the hospital for 2 friggin' hours! After which they will draw my blood and then send it for testing. It's going to be an ordeal. Thank goodness for my best friend/sister from another mister Kacey who will be watching the boys for me! I love you Kacey. You will never know how precious you are to me!

sign off for blog


neenerneener said...

no fair that kasey gets to be there to help out when you need it most and we don't! don't get me wrong. i love you kasey and i'm glad it can be you if it's not us! -but that should be us helping you out! love you sister! can't wait to meet archer boy!

grammaDawn said...

Ditto that!